My eating has been all over the place recently and I partly blame Christmas/New Years but mostly I blame myself.
With all that’s happened recently my emotions have been up and down, I’ve been stressed, worried and bored and when I’m any of those things I tend to eat. I haven’t been eating intuitively at all!
During Christmas and New Years I was actually really good with my food. I didn’t overly indulge. When I had finished eating dinner on Christmas I felt comfortable and full – not sick. I only had one plate, ate exactly what I felt like and nothing more. I didn’t even eat dessert whereas I would have even if I didn’t feel like it.
I tend to do better when I can plan what I’m eating – if I know what I have in the house then I eat better but if there are bits and pieces lying around, I tend to snack and when I snack, I eat more than I would.
My boyfriend is another concern because he and his family tend to eat crap. I mean it’s not all junk but it’s foods that I can’t eat everyday because it makes me feel heavy and sluggish. They love their BBQ’s and mash potatoes, chicken kiev’s, schnitzels, roast beef/pork/lamb with roasted veggies and no salads. So after two weeks staying with him my eating was all over the place. I did however in the two weeks living at his place learn to cook salmon. So a few nights I had salmon with salad for dinner which was nice and light.
Work has been similar. I haven’t had time to go to the supermarket to buy all my lunch ingredients so I’ve found myself buying burgers. Just last week I had maccas 4 times and felt so ill. Not only that, I was quite low in funds and unfortunately maccas is a cheaper option that anything relatively healthy. Even now I’ve just mindlessly opened a Snickers bar and am eating it and I didn’t even notice.
I lost my ability to realise when I’m hungry and when I’m bored but I’m getting that back now. I’ve cut my portions down again because they built up and am relying more on natural sugars like fruit rather than eating cookies and chocolates for a sugar fix. That’s not to say I’m not eating cookies and cake but I have 1 rather than the 2 or 3 that I would usually have had.
It’s hard as well because my grandma cooks dinner at home and she’s the opposite of me. She eats light during the day and very heavy during the evening whereas I eat heavy during the day and light during the evenings. It makes it hard because I find I’m having big breakfasts, a really light lunch and a heavy dinner which makes me feel sick.
I want to get back on track and although I do love food, I want to be able to enjoy it and know that there will be more later and not have to stuff myself to such an extent.