Monday 10th October 1.15 pm

I’ve chosen to start this blog afresh. I felt the previous posts i had were too negative and I’m trying to change that about myself. I want to be more positive and free and spontaneous. I don’t want to come across negative even when I’m not trying to be. I think being negative and being realistic are sometimes considered to be interchangeable and it’s sometimes hard for people to differentiate between the two.

The only issue is that something happened today which is definitely a negative – a girl on my train line was killed crossing the tracks. She was hit by a v-line about 3 stations before mine. I honestly do not understand how these things happen. I’m not being disrespectful or anything but I really just don’t understand how when you cross train tracks you don’t look both ways, just like crossing a road.

She was 15 I believe so she should know better. What bothers me is that, obviously the trains were disrupted, but the staff at the stations don’t actually mention what happen. So everyone is in a bad mood because no one knows what is going on. Why not tell people that a girl was struck by a train? Surely this would stop people bickering about the bad service of the trains.

I feel deeply for her family and friends but I can’t help think that if our society wasn’t so obsessed with speed and things being done instantly, this would not have happened. Why do people think they can beat a train travelling at least 50km+? Is it because we can no longer wait? Patience is being lost. I’m constantly being pushed and shoved aside by people who feel they deserve to get where they need to go faster than I do.  Is it really going to be the end of the world if you’re 5 minutes late somewhere?

I feel let down today. I feel that everything that is designed to make my life easier is in fact making things harder. I feel like I have to do more than I ever did, not because I want to, but because it is expected of me. I don’t want that added pressure. I just want to live my life and enjoy it how I want.  I don’t want to have to post everything I think/feel/want/need/do on Facebook but then i don’t want to feel irrelevant because I don’t. All this used to get me down but now, I just don’t care anymore. If people don’t notice me because I don’t appear on their news feed every 5 seconds, well really, they’re not worth my time. Again, this sounds negative but is actually realistic, I’m not expecting to be friends with everyone. Some people will like me, some won’t. Just like I like some people, and some I don’t.

The point of this post, I guess, is that it’s ok to be who you are and not succumb to the expectations of others. As stated on a page on Facebook, “I’m only responsible for what I say, not how you interpret it.”
This is how I want to live my life!

About xxxMissVxxx

I'm Valentina. And I'm pretty awesome!
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