I feel like there’s something wrong with my relationship. I’ve been with my partner for 8.5 years, since we were 16. We’ve never had a big fight or any fight really, we’re quite independent but choose to spend alot of time together, we have our own interests/hobbies as well as ones that we both enjoy together. We’re compatible in every way imaginable and for some reason i feel that there is something lacking.
And that’s drama.
Is it because we’re programmed to believe that you can’t possibly be in love without the highs and lows of a drama-fueled relationship? Are we expected to play games instead of communicating honestly? When was it dictated that communication has to be cryptic? When did it become the norm to spend every waking second together and if you don’t then you’re clearly “not in love?”
I just don’t have the energy for that. I hate the games that inherently come with most relationships. When i hear my friends talk about their relationships and all the bullshit that comes with it, i just find myself exhausted. It’s funny how people are so willing to talk about their relationship with everyone except their partner. People play games and then wonder why their communication is lacking.
I know my relationship is better than most. But it frustrates me that because i don’t have a ring on my finger, or that we don’t live together, we aren’t serious. It never crosses people’s minds that the reason there’s no ring on my finger is because i don’t want to get married, that we don’t live together because we’re both saving to buy a house. The fact that we’ve never broken up, or had major problems, or cheated on each other doesn’t even factor in when considering great relationships. It’s all about what you can show the world. We’re not all over each other in public and in fact, if you saw my partner and I out one day, i guarantee you wouldn’t even know we were dating unless you were told.
Although it bothers me, i wouldn’t change what i have for anything. Ultimately what you portray to the world is easy to control. To pretend you’re a perfect couple who is going to have the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog is easy. But i know that to be so comfortable in my relationship, despite all the negativity i get from others who don’t see what they want to see, is something i would never never give up.