I feel like things aren’t quite working anymore.
I’m not liking work at the moment. I feel like i get told off for things that everyone does. things like talking when someone is on the phone, yet someone can stand behind me and talk to the person on the other side of my desk whilst I’m on the phone yet they don’t get told off. I feel like I’m constantly picking up other people’s slack. I feel like i have to always pretend to be interested in the kids of my co-workers. i don’t really like kids. I’m not even interested in kids who are close to me so why would i be interested in kids that I’ve never met before?
I need to get out of this place because i dread coming to work every day. I dread two of my co-workers. I hate having to talk to them. I hate the sound of their voices.
I hate that my job is not a challenge. I hate that i have the same conversation with different people every single day. I hate that I’m always bored.
But I don’t want to leave just yet. I’m looking for places to volunteer and wanting to go back to uni next year so staying here is the easy option because i can study whilst at work and still have the flexiblity that i’ll need. But i’m not sure how much longer I can be here.
Not only that but things haven’t been amazing between my partner and I. It’s only been off for a couple of days really and it happens every so often, usually when we’ve spent too much time together but i think mixed with not loving work has made it seem so much worse. But it still makes me upset at times. Its like i always have to chase after stuff. He just won’t tell me things unless i ask. It’s not like he doesn’t want to tell me because he gives me the full story if i ask but he just doesn’t think to tell me before i ask. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. I mean i found out on facebook that his brother got a new job and is moving out even though i spoke to him before i was on facebook but he didn’t mention anything.
i think I’m a little over making effort and not having it returned. i know i shouldn’t do things expecting something in return but i feel like i shouldn’t bother anymore.
I’m in a bad mood. probably not enough exercise or sleep and too much junk food lately.