It’s amazing that it’s taken me this long to realise this. Having only positive influences in your life really changes the way you think and feel about things. I’ve found i cope better under pressure when things beyond my control go to pieces, I tend to always look on the bright side and i just accept that there will always be people out there for one reason or another who feel its OK to dump on me and that’s OK.
What I’ve learnt is this: My reactions are what matters!
I can’t control what happens but i can control my reaction to it. This realisation came about whilst i was reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. In it, Gretchen devotes an entire year to making herself and her life a happier place to be in. She developed a Happiness Project Toolbox where she and anyone else can have their own Happiness Project Toolbox. Her book was really great to read, although i did skip over the spirituality section (for some reason i just can’t do it! I read Eat, Pray, Love and pretty much skipped all of the India section. I have no idea what it is about it..) but for the most part, it really struck a chord. At the same time whilst reading the book, i was constantly being dumped on by a friend of mine. Usually i don’t mind when friends want to vent to me but this was different. Everything was negative. Enough that i realised that i was slowly becoming that way and i wasn’t the same person that i used to be. I didn’t like the person i was becoming when i was around her so I cut down my time with her. It sounds terrible but she was toxic to me and honestly, i can’t say that i miss the friendship all too much because it was very one-sided. It consisted of me listening, bored out of my brain, and her talking. And it was always the same thing but with a different person.
I still occasionally move over to the dark side and am negative but hey, human nature really! We all have our good and bad days but i think what is important is how these days make us react to those around us.
It’s not always easy to completely change your mindframe but it can be done. Surround yourself by things that make you happy! Remind yourself of what you love. Remember that there are people around you who love you no matter what. And most importantly, remember that life is too short to be negative!
(for your own happiness toolbox, please click here!)