I did the one thing last night most females dread at the start of summer.
I went bathers shopping.
I did this because it’s hot in Melbourne for a change, but as I was at my boyfriend’s place, it was easier to go buy something new then drive the hour home to get mine, and drive the hour back.
I used to never mind it but now there are just so many choices. My first stop used to always be Target. I generally buy plain bathers for around $30 because i use them maybe 3 times a year. Yesterday I went to Target and there was so much option! I can’t ever remember bathers having that much space dedicated to them. There were bright colours, frills, patterns, bikini, tankini, one piece, mix and match, the lot! It was confusing and nausiating really.
I grabbed the plainest pair i could find. And went with dread to try them on.
Now I know that I shouldn’t be insecure about my body because everyone always tells me that I’m tiny (i’m not tiny, i’m quite normal sized. i used to be tiny but thats a whole different story). But that doesn’t stop me from feeling insecure, especially when trying on bathers. Bathers and lingerie are the two things that I’m always most critical about because you can’t hide the parts you don’t really like about yourself when there’s not alot of fabric to cover you with.
I ended up with a bikini top, the matching tankini and the plainest black bottoms i could find. None of it looked right. And I hate saying this but the 10’s felt too small. I know i’m not a size 12 and i know it’s only a number but clearly at my most vulnerable, i really didn’t want to have to try on a size 12.
I was clearly being irrational and i knew that. It’s true, i have gained a signifcant amount of weight this year (10kilos, bring me up to 61kilos) and it’s the first time having to buy new bathers with it. Is that the reason nothing seemed to work out fine? It makes me sad to think that if it’s an issue for me as a size 10, how it feels for people who are bigger and probably more insecure about their size.
I ended up giving up. I wasn’t going to spend $80 on bathers that i didn’t even feel good in. Thats the thing isnt it? You *have* to get a pair where you feel confident in yourself because it does take guts to put yourself out there like that.
So my plan completely backfired and i had no bathers to go to the beach to. But… my boyfriend said something this morning about something or other (I wasn’t really listening, it was 4.45 am when he left so i was still partially asleep) and i woke up, rmembered the conversation where he said something or other, rummaged through his drawers and found a pair that i had bought years ago, which i loved, thought i’d lost but had found again!!!
So i’m waiting til he gets home from work and i’m hitting the beach!!
I managed to purchase alot yesterday in two seperate lots. These pants were from Target (below)
which i love.
I also purchased a pair of pin stripe knee length shorts for work. From Review i purchased a knee length black skirt, and three tops as well as a dress from Bettina Liano. I may have gone a little crazy on the splurging yesterday… whoops!
What do you hate having to try on?