Dilemma

I have a bit of a dilemma.

I have a friend, O, who i’ve known for 10 years. We’ve been friends the whole time but we’re not one-on-one friends. Meaning we don’t talk or text, we don’t hang out together but we do when we’re in a group. We talk, but aren’t very close.

She’s recently lost alot of weight. She’s always been small, and conscious of her health and over the last year it’s really kicked in. But I’m worried about her. On New Years Day we went to the beach and you could see her spine through her skin. The bones in her shoulders were also sticking out..

She does eat, but it’s very healthy. Dressing on the side, she doesn’t eat the cheese in salads, her food is always grilled and I’m actually worried she’s not getting enough calories per day, considering she runs at least 5km a day.

My problem is this. I don’t feel close enough to her to bring it up. I feel like i’m overstepping my boundaries. I’ve spoken to her best friend about it but she doesn’t seem to think there is a problem. There are a few other girls who have also noticed, but like me, aren’t that close to her.

I don’t know what to do.

What would you do in a situation like this?

About xxxMissVxxx

I'm Valentina. And I'm pretty awesome!
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3 Responses to Dilemma

  1. Curly Carly says:

    That’s tricky. This is what I would say, in a very casual way and not sounding confrontational at all. I would talk about it in a slightly joking manner so that she feels comfortable talking and doesn’t feel attacked.

    You: “Hey, I know this is kind of random, but can I ask you something?
    Her (being appreciative that you asked first): Uh…yeah…
    You: I definitely don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but I just noticed that you’re quite a bit thinner lately and I wanted to make sure everything is ok.

    Chances are she’ll completely deny it, which could possibly be true, but at least you’re letting her know she has someone to talk to if she needs to.

  2. xxxMissVxxx says:

    I think i will try that. Even if she gets mad or whatever at least that way i’ll know i’ve done something. I’m hoping its just eating well and being active and she doesn’t realise she’s maybe gone too far rather than it being a much bigger problem encouraging it.

  3. sagestylista says:

    That’s so tricky. I’ve been wanting to say something for SO long, to a friend who is quite overweight, has joint problems, needs physio, and has a family history of diabetes… I’m close to her in that we were good friends in school, but we only see each other occasionally now.

    I realised though, as much as I am genuinely coming from a caring/concerned angle, it didn’t feel like my place to say anything, especially as it would almost be an ‘insult’ to her entire family as they all eat that way and lead a lifestyle that contributes to it.

    Tough situation! I find when the topic comes up in conversation (as diets/weight/gyms/cooking/calories etc often do), talking about what YOU do for yourself (I’m such an advocate for everything in moderation) could help. So, when we are talking about what we eat or how we snack, I’ll talk about what I do, and how it makes me feel good, is balanced, there is no denying of anything but nor is there an overindulgence. Same goes for what I would do in exercise. Maybe when you talk about you do and look visibly happy about it, she’ll start do to the thinking on her own? It isn’t guaranteed, because all change must stem from the individual and for themselves, but it must just prompt her inner voice 😉

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